I had a bit of a crisis. Nothing felt like it was going right. I was sitting still and watching the world spin and twist around me in a state that I didn’t understand and felt out of place from.
So I took a break. I took a break from writing. I went on my holiday (s) and I took the time to truly appreciate life because I’m always rushing around trying to get to the next milestone in life that I forget to live. To take on every day and appreciate the journey that your life is.
So I started reading more and more books, stepping out of the world in a slightly different way than my usual staring at a screen and praying inspiration spills from my fingertips. I started getting in touch with myself again and a part that I had left behind for far too long.
I really did a lot of internal healing, mainly to do with my confidence, believing in myself. I think I went through a long portion of my life doing things for others and approval and not for me. So I had to break apart the wall I had built and really look at the work and analyse where I should’ve built on more or made a part a little more steady. It was tough going.
What I’ve really realised in all of this is that I am 21 years old. I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no idea where I’m going, where I’m headed, what I want to be when I’m older, where I’ll be next year, what I’m having for breakfast, what crisis I will be in next and it’s totally fine.
Instead of getting worried about every time I get asked about my future or plans, I’m going to take a deep breath and remember that I am still living and that it is perfectly okay not to be sure of where you’re going. It’s all about making the best situation for yourself, making sure you stay true to yourself and that most importantly you are happy.
My name is Holly.
I am an insane Irish girl with quirks and tricks. Good and bad.
I am no longer caged with expectations.
I am living for me.